omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
