This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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