My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We need to rekindle our bromance
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
