i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If I die, sorry about rent.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
