Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Green mimosas i think yes
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
