Don't you send me to vm
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
