You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
