His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
