guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
FUCK WHALES
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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