Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
