The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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