dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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