I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
