Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
