This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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