The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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