turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
