Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
