T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize