Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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