y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize