Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
