I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
