Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
