just come out here and I will go home with you...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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