her vagine was all disorganized.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
