you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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