5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
