I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
