You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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