you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
