Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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