Someone shit on the floor
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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