What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
