Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize