plz talk dirty to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
