Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
