Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
