brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
