thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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