to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
