So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
