here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
