Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
