Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
he thought i was a dude.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
