The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
