Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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