the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize