They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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