I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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