I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
