Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
