the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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