you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
