I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
