wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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