her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
my liver is dry heaving
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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