I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
