You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
