U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Brb crying the tears of my youth
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
