Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
