You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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