I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
