My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
